Purr!

sorry to be grossing you out guys, but there is nothing like the happiness you get after needing to pee, then peeing.
woohooo!

i need to pee, but i don't want to leave my seat in case while i'm in the bathroom my mom comes back from fetching lydia from school, i won't see she's back to close down the internet window so it looks like i've been doing my shell project write-up instead of surfing the net for an hour.
no!
no i will just post this and then go and return to post more if she hasn't come back by then, nothing is worth this niggling discomfort.
i swear, i would cave under torture so fast.

[in secret underground bunker]
*drinks tea*
*forced into designer wedding dress*

[15 minutes later]
"NO! NOT IN THIS RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE WEDDING DRESS! DON'T MAKE ME! AAAARRRGHHHTHE MONEY'S IN THE WALL, BEHIND THAT PICTURE OF A DUCK!"

Current Mood: need to pee!

wow it's hot. i'm such a whiner but COME ON
it's not like i'm all "WHA THIS IS DEATH VALLEY AND I DID NOT WANT IT TO BE HOT OMGWTFJKSDFKJSBV"
this is sb
temperate climate stylez.
so you may remember my grandma
featured in the wierdest day of my life post

welllllll
she's back for round two and didn't fall down, but did SLICE HER ARM OPEN on the edge of the car door, which -- to my knowledge -- is not made of open corrugated tin. it is smooth metal that has a casing of rubber around almost all of it. it doesn't even bruise you.
we were getting into the car (me into the boot of the hatchback because eleanor home + grandma viztin' = 6 of us into 5 seater) about to go out to eat at Cava in the lower village of Montecito, and she goes "oh no, look what i've done!" in her warbly, chipper voice, and i couldn't see but i assumed she'd dropped her handbag or something, but the air in the car turned to the consistency of custard and when i looked up, eleanor had blanched completely.
Mum was trying so hard not to say "OH MY GOD" so she went "oh my...mummy" and i looked up to see that she had sliced her arm levelly, meaning there was a good square inch flap of skin sitting neatly where it should have been, only it was 3/4 of the way surrounded by very dark blood. luckily she is a grandma (and was a top surgeon and doctor), and therefore had a hanky to press on it and apply pressure until we found a rite-aid to get a dressing from.
she is so stubborn, however, that she refused to "make a fuss" about it, and so therefore demanded she didn't recieve any special treatment, such as having one of us push her chair in at the restaurant so the (terrible) waiter didn't slam into her repeatedly as he rushed to serve a very wealthy family seated behind us. Also, when we picked up dad from the corner (i will explain this later on) she was sitting in the front, and kept slyly undoing her seatbelt in an attempt to switch seats, as she "didn't deserve all that legroom, Mark is so much taller!" and we would have to literally fasten it for her and plead her not to try and remedy the situation.

isn't it funny how people are often the most fuss when they are trying not to be?
that sentence seems to sum up her visit.
eleanor was crying out of shock when grandma sliced her arm open, but i was feeling terrible about it, because it felt like I had caused it. I've been wishing her to go home since 2 days after her arrival, because we've had a year full of guests and she arrived at the worst time and requires the most care, and her attitude to our lifestyles is so often reproachful that I have really begrudged her stay.
But i do love her.
and I feel terrible begrudging her anything.
However, she did think donald rumsfeld was a "cutie".
make of that what you will.

ps. we picked up my dad on the corner to save ourselves the embarassment of a second car trip with me publicly in the trunk. see, I wanted to get out on the sly when we'd parked, but apparently the valet service is not optional so i popped up from where I'd been lying down amidst sand and tj's bags, only to appear face-to-face with the valet - one of last year's seniors, who I had/have a crush on and who went to my youth group occasionally. Cute (especially in his nice suit for valet work) and hilariously funny in the way that instantly makes you hideously unfunny in his presence because none of your jokes seem good enough. He looked honestly taken aback and I blushed my regular amount, (where I can't breathe because all the blood in my lungs is forced in a fit of panic into my face) and he said "I didn't see you there!" in a horrified sort of way.
i tried to smooth down my hair (static-d out from lying on shopping bags) and said something nonsensical, and then tried to exit the boot of the car in an elegant way in front of the rich guests at the restaurant. I hugged the guy (which was awkward because even when we were at our "closest" - i saw him once a week at best at church- we weren't huggers) and stuttered something about senior year and then went and sat down with my family. Lydia promptly spilt all the salsa on the table and the night began.

Current Mood: IT'S HOT
Current Music: humming the hairspray soundtrack

I'm watching Seinfeld.
I'm at that point of being full where i'm not in pain anymore.
I'm in my bathrobe, pjs and slippers.

and I have a house.
A real one.
With an address.


I cried in it.
I scooted around on the wooden floor, wrapped in a blanket.
I touched each wall of my new room.
and I said goodbye to my old room.

I'm baaaaack youz.

I'm watching the Oprah about Rev Run, and its SO SAD
sob sob

hahahhaha i keep thinking about the guy we fixed the trailer of, (called Mr. Dave) and he cracks me up.


ARGH REV RUN, YOUR POOR BABY THAT DIED! I'M SORRRRRRYYYYYY

So just to start, I want to tell you four good quotes (all personally heard by me) from school:

English teacher: Providence means God's Will
Preppy boy: Sweeet.

Goth girl to Goth guy: I keep thinking it's thursday.

(just in the hallway)Gangsta#1: Soo..whut, it's like, Gods birthday or som'in?
Gangsta#2: NAAAH its when he got fuckeen ressurected for our sins, donchu go to catechism?

And my personal favourite:
(In math class)Huge latino thug to little latino thug: YOU FUCKIN SMOKE CRACK?! X IS 5!

Well, just wanted to tell you that
AND that in almost 12 hours, I will be setting off for L.A to go to New Orleans with the Soverign Grace Church mission to rip down mouldy houses and build new ones, as well as cook and clean and babysit for the displaced people. I'll be there for the first week, getting back 30th I think, so i will update then on what has happened!
Please keep me in your prayers or good juju or karma or vibes or however you kids wanna send me your love.

Ciao, sweethearts, have an awesome spring break!
- Isabel

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Rockers -- steppin razor

Oh my ill bod. what else could possibly be wrong with it?

I have the flu, y'all. It's really quite scary to wake up with a fever. I was so dizzy and weak I could not lift the covers off my face.
A high fever is so paralysing.
And yet, as my mother pointed out today, it is such an amazing system. Thinking about the process of fighting infection just further pushes me to the "intelligent design" side of the fence.
My body is pretty damn clever, youse. Even if I'd rather it did it more discreetly sometimes.

( whoop, procrastination! )

Current Mood: sore
Current Music: Barbie Girl -- Aqua

pushing down on me

the US school system is fucked, guys.
sorry, eleanor.
LANGUAGE

but it is.

i hate GPAs. and parental attention to them.

i have a 3.6 and my PSAT score was a 187
i am getting 4 a's and 2 b's

but i don't know what any of that means.

I am just going to type about a really awesome thing that happened yesterday.
i'm not going to focus on the fact I have a lot of homework
or my snotty nose
or the fact my friend's new bf is a member of the Mile High Club, and she is a fairly naive person who doesn't get why repeating the fact she's now on the pill doesn't fill our hearts with song, it makes us worried about her imminent state of sexual health.

no
i'm not going to talk about it.



So my friend melissa cronshaw is a california girl. She is white. She has long hair and expensive makeup. She is a size 0, and she is on the Varsity soccer team. she lives in a wealthy neighbourhood, her future husband (no, really. a family friend who has been betrothed to her) is the heir to the FedEx throne, and she has a pretty sweet pickup truck.
its a dark green, mud splattered Tacoma. it has no front bumper. or the blinkers that go on it. there is a button on it that releases some gadget so her brother (original owner of the truck) can pull sick donuts and the hood is giant and white and is not from a tacoma.
and shes an amazing driver.

so i get a text yesterday morning saying "picnic at lunch!" so at lunch time i run from the greenhouses over the the Junior Lot to see...no pickup truck. So they've left. Great.
NOT SO!
missy comes wheeling in, music blasting (as always) and squeals into a spot in the sunshine. she, Erica and Arriel all hop out and say "you're here!! come load your stuff into the front, and then step back." I chuck my stuff in the cab and missy leaps into the bed of the truck (she's tiny and springy like a leprachaun), yanks open the back windows and pulls out...

3 yoga mats
a giant blanket
a cooler
a box of Vons banana nut muffins
a giant carton of goldfish crackers
some cans of sprite

they lay the mats down, threw down the blanket on top, and then threw all the food in the center
i couldnt believe it.

it was honestly amazing.
i've never had that feeling before...it was just a beautiful cross between careful planning and carefree whimsy. the cooler was full of Tri-tip sandwiches with mustard, onions, lettuce, tomato and jalapenos.
and people passed by and some stopped with the food they had (mostly mexican food -- burritos and chips) and it was just a food orgy of flavors
and there was me, sitting in the middle, bright sunshine, looking around at the friends i've made since august, and all the things we've done.

So happy.

cat cat cat.
i gots a cat.

she is awesomez.
:)

and i BRUSH HER and PET HER and give her FOOOOD and PLAY with her and give her FLEA DROPS and then she RUNS AWAY from me and IGNORES ME but now she LIKES ME AGAIN.
asdufgkjdsgldkfjsuanaaaaa


cat
im happy.

So, yeah.
Today was a day in two pieces.
Not like a first half and a second half, it split into good and bad.

( Read on only if you care )

I'm so confused. and i'm still so scared for my nana.
give me advice, love and prayer, oh wonderful people.

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Imogen Heap -- Hide and Seek

And this is what's in it:
Caution: Giant photo post..
( Homecoming and other deaths )

I'm not very happy at the moment.
I would like to go on anti-depressants.
I currently weigh more than I ever have in my entire life, and it makes me sad every day.

Hope all is well in made-up land, where you guys live.
Inform me of gossip if you like.
Take care my doves x

Current Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: Cicadas outside

So my homecoming date is now stalking me.

He is not a cool guy.

He bought me a corsage and dinner etc.

But now he's a creeper.

Ewwww.

So hmm.
Homecoming.
The big HC
I have einen date.
When he asked me, i thought he was joking.
But he wasnt.
Gutted.

Ah well, he is coolish.
But I'm in love with a guy in my theatre class.
Or I was until i found out that by rights, he should be a freshman, but he skipped the 8th grade.
I'M SORRY, WHAT?
I THOUGHT HE WAS A JUNIOR.
THAT SUCKS BOTTOM.

But he is really funny and cute and he has a pug dog named piggy. and he is really skinny and into hardcore.
but he has a guh-fuh.
*sob*

HOMECOMING DRESS.
I NEED ONE
WHAT ARE THE STYLES THIS YEAR.
because all the ones ive seen are covered in enough glitter to paste your entire body.

Current Mood: irate

I feel sad
and achy.
though i should be happy because i live in a beautiful place with nice people and a ben and jerrys cafe.

but i feel fat.
and im getting there.

i hate borrowing wetsuits from skinny, mean people.

I'm sitting in eleanor's dorm room right now.
all i can hear are occasional bird calls, doors shutting, a slight beat from the boom box a few doors down and little inane conversations coming from the rooms down the hall.
eleanor is, at this very moment, lying face down on the spare upper bunk that is above her real one. She looks really very pretty today, in a blue spotty miniskirt and a white top with her year 11 prom necklace on and a lot of my teal eyeshadow.
i wish she wasnt mad at me.
i think i depressed her, because i was all fun yesterday and dancy and funny, but today all ive done is complain, then cry, then whine about how my life sucks and say i dont want to dance or listen to loud music.

so i gave her the wrong impression i guess, because i really do want to dance and do all those nice fun things that make me feel like a cool person. but i don't think i really have her sympathy and i guess i shouldnt really come round here looking for it. its not her job to make me feel up, but i just cant vent when i'm at home. mum is already so worn down with her own venting i think she'd break if i started. i mean, she knows i'm a little lonely but i dont think i could tell her how miserable i've been since we moved here. that i would do anything to be two years older and be started at westmont with my own room mate and my own little things to do and buy and think about.

so if eleanor is bothered enough to read my journal, i'm sorry for bummin you out. i'm going to go home now, okay?
okay.x

Current Mood: ashamed

New laptop.
Not mine
The mouse is the size of an apple and the rolly thing glows green whenever i move the mouse

So naturally I'm terrified.

Eating Barnum animal crackers outta the red box with the lunchbox string on it.

I ate lunch on my own today.
Because I don't have any friends yet.

Even the spotty guys who made fun of me in my english class had friends.
They were eachother, but you know.
It's still someone to sit with

So i rang my sister in her dorm and we talked a little, and i was chattering desperately so it would look like i had someone who would listen, but evidently not, because she went to go get lunch and i ate the rest of my sarnie in silence and then hid in the toilets again.

Here's an update.
To be quite honest, I'm not in a good mood. And for all of you that read this (that would be some dustbunnies) and know me to be a rageful writer, hear this: I AM USUALLY AS PERKY AS M'SIEUR PIG HIMSELF.
BUT THIS HAS ALL GONE A BIT FAR IN MY OPINION.

what the hilary (yes.) is going on? In the world? That whole terrorist thing caused us to miss our connecting flight and forcing us to stay the night in Toronto watching the worst comedy show ever in our hotel room. Evidently this isn't the worst thing that could have happened with a terrorist plot hanging in the air but it was all so harrowing just having everything taken away from you at the airport and being searched all the time and being peppered with questions by airport personnel.
aaargh! and those bloody rudearse personnel! making our lives living hell because we havent got out our boarding passes quickly enough! or because we have 17 pieces of checked luggage instead of ten (well mate, you should have thought of that before you made us PUT ALL OF OUR CARRY-ON INTO CHECKED LUGGAGE.)
If anything, you need to be MORE efficient and MORE understanding if you are airport personnel in a terrorist alert that is heightened to 'Critical'.
Not less.
Making my mum cry should be against the law.

as should jetlag.
In other news I'm in a house with 4 dogs, one v. elderly cat, an ancient turtle called tur-telle and some constantly terrified fish. The dogs are: Stuker who is grey, 11 years old and looks like a furry space pudding; Dojer who is a giant that weighs literally four more pounds than i do (and I'm not a little girl) and who crushes everyones feet constantly; Brodie who is a lil' jack russell that can't swim but has a habit of nearly or fully backing into the pool, and Koa (which is hawaiian for Warrior) who is a german shepherd/greyhound cross puppy who will chew and drool on everything and nick underpants from your suitcase.

i love this house.

peace out y'all, i'm so jetlagged i think i'm going to sit by the pool and do logic puzzles til i fall asleep.
love you all xxxxxxx

Current Mood: numb

Heavens.
I'm so tired

and somehow, in some crazy way, Neopets is ceasing to amuse me.
It's quite disturbing actually.

I want to leave tomorrow, my friends are boring me out of my headI'm going to miss everyone so much.

I don't know why but I just feel really empty.
I think I should go to the GUM Clinic as well, but noone will go with me.